She Makes the Best of What's Around

So I'm watching Lady Gaga's performance at the VMAs. It's on MTV's site, streaming, which annoys the pants off me. I hate streaming.

Anyway, of course it's a giant spectacle, but I noticed something. I have watched the video before. I despise it, of course; I think I've gone through this before. I don't like the use of murder imagery. There are victims of crimes (and families left behind) out there to whom I think that is offensive. It disgusts me. However, what I'm thinking about now has nothing to do with the imagery (also used onstage at the VMAs). It's her vocal register. In the original song & video, the song has a melody. It doesn't seem to have one, or at least the same one, at the VMAs. Specifically, the parts she sings much higher ("I won't stop until that boy is mine", "paparazzi"), she drops down quite low.

I really have no qualms about saying this woman is talented. From what I read I understand she writes a great deal of her own stuff: lyrics, music, and choreography. She's instrumental in creating her own look & image, and for that alone she's a brilliant PR person. She's quite good at most of what she does, but that whole live performance leaves me wondering "Can she actually SING?" Because she didn't, not really, at the VMAs. She "sang" but most of it was that Britney Spears-style half-talk-half-sing-half-whine, and then there was the whole dropping the notes down the scale. I wonder how much of her recorded voice is hers and how much of it is digitized? Or was she just focusing so much on the dance & the show that her singing took a back seat to that?

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I'm scrubs shopping this morning. I needed 2 more pairs; I have 3 pairs and I work 3 days a week which sometimes puts me in a laundry crunch. Take today for example: I have a meeting to attend for new nurses, and I'm to attend in uniform. That means I'll have to come home immediately after the meeting today & wash whichever pair of scrubs I wear. So I decided I needed to sit down & order a few pairs.

My favorites are the Cherokee Touch line. They're so soft they feel like pajamas, but the colors stay very true despite a zillion washings and the fabric always looks...I don't know how to say what I'm thinking of. Professional is a good word. Most fabrics that feel like pajamas tend to LOOK like pajamas, but not this stuff. These look professional, feel comfortable, and are extremely durable. I've heard rumors they're getting rid of this line and let me tell you, I'ma stock up before that happens. I'll freaking CRY. I know exactly what size I wear in each top and pant, so if necessary I'll buy them all online. Which is cheaper anyway! See:

Contrast tie top in Ciel Blue. I just bought this top this morning. I also bought it in Royal Blue as well. I currently have three of the mock-wrap top: turquoise, royal, & navy blues. I paid about $20 for each of those tops. I paid $15 for each of the contrast tie tops this morning on Cherokee4Less. Yaaaaay! Also notable: I bought my pants for $22 apiece, but they're available for $16 on that website. Pretty excited. I'll need to have the tops altered, though. These don't have any side vents at all, and the XL tops aren't big enough around the hips for me. It's weird; the pants fit my hips just fine; shouldn't they make the pant's hips and the top's hips the same measurement? The mind boggles. Anyway, I'll take them by the cleaners, have them put a 6-inch side vent in, and tada! Perfect scrubs.

Now I am off to shower so that I may go to town early. Signing up for health insurance for me & Ganon (through work, so we can stop paying Blue Cross/Blue Shield $300 a month for crap insurance), rearranging my schedule for this week (so that I can work Wednesday night instead of tonight), and then off to the New Nurses' Informational Session.

I have a favorite sense. I think it's one that most people wouldn't guess, and probably not the most popular one. My favorite sense is touch.

After my hands were burned, I was in an odd state of sensory deprivation for several years. You never realize how much you touch, how many textures you feel just going about your day. Right after the burns, I was in bandages for a couple of months. Immediately after coming out of the bandages, I had to go into Jobst Skin gloves (burn scars will puff up & cause contractures unless they are maintained under compression for years afterward). They were extremely tight, and very specifically fitted; each one of my knuckles was measured around, as well as the length from every fingertip to the bottom of the last scar. The tips of certain fingers were not burned badly, and were left out, but the palms, backs, & majority of the fingers on both hands were covered. Many parts of my hands that weren't burned had to be covered to maintain the compression on those parts that were. The gloves were made of a heavy, thick nylon. Think of a pair of pantyhose with very little give, one size too small, and about 5 times thicker. Dry, heavy nylon between me & everything. It was a constant dry, dusty feeling on my hands.

What this meant is that for 3 years after my burns, I no longer felt the things I touched. A ceramic mug was warm, but it felt like nylon. Kittens & puppies felt like nylon. Opening a door. Tugging on a pair of pants. It was like hearing the same noise for everything that made sound. I don't have nightmares much, but a recurring theme in them is that I have those nylon gloves on, and can't get them off! Ew!

After I took them off for good, I petted EVERYTHING. I would run my hand across chrome. I'd go out of my way to play with pets (okay so I did that before). I would reach out to touch things unexpectedly, leaving people to look at me funny. Fact is, I still do this. I think having been in that sort of sensory deprivation for 3 years made an impression, and it made me appreciate things that others don't think much about. Wet stone is a favorite of mine, both on the side of a building during the rain or a stone with water running over it. Soft, tissue thin skin on the hands of the very old. Cloth of almost any kind, from heavy cotton to the lightest silk. The smooth but still textured feeling of brushed metal or anodized aluminum. Scales on a reptile. I love all these textures and a million more. I want to touch EVERYTHING.

Do you have a favorite sense?

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So today LJ had one of those "Writer's Block" prompts. I don't usually like these things but this one's hilarious.

"What celebrity or politician would you most wish to get stuck in an elevator with for two hours? What burning question would you ask them?

I would choose to get stuck in an elevator with Jeff Coffin. I have reasons.

1) I find him nice to look at. I guess I have a thing for bald. Also I like his beard.
2) My burning question is about that beard: I want to ask him how he managed to grow it out so that he could braid it, because Bryan wants to do that, and has since before he knew I thought it was cute. :)
3) I want to talk photography. Mr. Coffin has a photography site and he takes the most astonishingly good pictures with nothing more than a point & shoot & no post-production fiddling with the light.
4) If we got bored he could play the sax & I could sing and when they finally got us out of the elevator they'd think we were crazy.

I could also get stuck in an elevator with Hugo Weaving but I would probably be a gibbering, giggling mess by the time you got me out, and anything approaching a "burning question" would fly out of my head the instant he spoke. I am not easily starstruck, in line with my personality type, but I'm pretty sure that'd do it.

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So today at 11:30am I got a phone call while I was in the shower. I was getting ready to go into town. I needed a haircut, to take some scrubs to Masanelli's for alterations, to put gas in my car, to get some money out of the ATM for childcare, etc. The voice mail, however, was Jennifer, my classmate-turned-coworker on the floor. She wanted to know if I'd talked to Tammy about working my shift after the new employee class. Well I wasn't scheduled for tonight, but WAIT what? New employee class? I called back. Turned out we had a new employee class at NOON, which no one had told me about. I got ready frantically & managed to make it almost an hour late. It didn't last until 4:30 like they said it would, but it still prevented me from doing half of my errands. I was irritated.

And of course I came home to find our dishwasher has given up the ghost. It's nothing to do with mice, this time; no, it seems the pump has just decided to stop working. Got to get a new dishwasher. Grand. At least it waited until I had an income.

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Tonight I am awake because tomorrow I need to NOT be awake. Tomorrow evening at 7pm, I go into work for my first overnight 12 hour shift. In preparation for this, I am attempting to sleep most of the day tomorrow, which means staying up all night tonight. I'm joining the Night Owl Association, as the lovely starry_midnight puts it. Got my thermal drapes up in the bedroom and the bathroom window (tiny, frosted window but the sun rises RIGHT in it) covered with aluminum foil (temporary measure for this week until I get a small drape for it). I am all set to screw up my sleeping patterns like nobody's business. Woo hoo!

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!

I don't want to look like a know-it-all, but I'm noticing a widespread misunderstanding about surgical masks. This isn't general knowledge outside of the medical industry (and there are even some inside who misunderstand), and in a situation like this year's H1N1 flu, the misunderstanding can be dangerous.

Surgical masks DO NOT protect you from breathing in organisms. Surgical masks are meant to keep the surgeon or surgical assistant's germs away from the surgery being performed. It protects OTHERS. The mask that protects the wearer is called an N95, and if you have not been fitted for the proper size, it won't work for you either. In fact, some people with certain facial features (think wide, square jaws or prominent cheekbones) cannot be fitted for an N95 mask at all. Neither quiara or I could be fitted, and we're required to wear a respirator in any airborne precaution rooms.

When I explained my idea for this post to Bryan, he thought perhaps I should just let people do whatever makes them feel better. Then I thought "What if someone visits a friend with H1N1, thinking they're safe because of the mask?" That won't do, because likely you'd end up with it anyway. It's not a bad flu, as flu goes, but it isn't exactly fun, either. Courtney, my sister, had it at the end of July; her fever spiked to nearly 105º and she felt like crap, but she didn't get the pneumonia complications. Some people are much more prone to those complications.

Surgical masks are appropriate, however, if you have symptoms and you MUST go out. It's really better to stay in where you won't be exposing the general public, but if you're getting out to go to the doctor and get yourself some chicken soup, orange juice, & Tamiflu, by all means wear a surgical mask. Don't breathe on the rest of us!

This has been an announcement from your friendly Livejournal nurse.

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At least, I hope I'm still a nurse. I took the NCLEX-RN yesterday at a Pearson Testing Center in Little Rock. I talked Bryan into taking Friday off, and so Thursday night we put Ganon in the car and drove first to Newport where Bryan wrote the day's schoolwork on his whiteboard & organized it for the substitute teacher, and then to Little Rock. We stayed at the Hampton Inn Little Rock West, which was no more than 4 minutes from the testing site, and has a Krispy Kreme in front of it. I don't like Krispy Kremes even now, it seems. I tried one.

Anyway, I don't know what to tell you about the test experience. I was fingerprinted on the way into and out of the testing area. I had my photo taken before I went in, and had to confirm it was me on the way out. I had to empty my pockets, show them there were no inner pockets to my cardigan, turn my iPhone off, remove my earrings, and then put all these things into a locker. I was allowed the clothes on my back, my locker key, and my ID. That was it. As for the exam itself, I don't know what to say about that, either. I was absolutely certain of maybe 4 or 5 questions, out of the 120-something I was given (the test can range from 75-256 questions, depending on how many are needed to ascertain you will pass). For the rest of them, I used critical thinking prioritized by 3 cardinal rules of nursing: 1) Protect the ABCs (airway, breathing, & circulation), 2) Protect patient safety (consider fall risks, etc), and 3) Consider transmission of infections. I can't tell you what the questions were like or what they contained, because you sign something saying they can sue your buns off for cheating if you do that. I'm not allowed to divulge any of the content. THEY WILL SEND NINJAS AFTER ME. I'M SURE.

After the exam, we ate lunch at the River Market, where I ate the best hot dog I have ever tasted from a guy with a real-honest-to-God-New-York-City-hot-dog-cart. He had developed a very fiery mustard that day, & when I loved it he decided to name it Hillary Sauce! (I wonder if he was telling the truth? He seemed like a flatterer, but I have decided to believe him.) Also we had cupcakes from Brown Sugar baking company. A very large number of semi-uniformed high school students came in then, and we asked where they were from. Turns out it's a new charter school in downtown Little Rock. I accidentally left my purse in the building, and only realized it when we got to the car. I ran like a madwoman back into the Market & found our table, where I found my purse sitting happily & untouched...at a table full of high school students. They'd been wondering when someone might come back for it. The cash in the purse was still there, sitting right on top. Granted, it was just a $5, but still! I picked up the purse & looked at the students. "You know, if I'd left this purse at a table with my husband's students, I might never have seen it again." They grinned at me. I liked the look of those students--all of them. They all looked...I don't know. Aware. Observant. Bryan said they lacked the "brutish" or "simple" quality many of his own students can sometimes show. If Ganon grew up & went to a school like that, I'd be ecstatic. Bryan said that if he could teach at one of those schools, he'd stay in education for sure.

Then we decided to continue the adventure & drive to Memphis. We went to the Apple store & bought Snow Leopard, and we're not impressed with their new way of doing things. There's no cash register, no place to just walk up & buy something. A concierge helps you with your decisions & then rings up your purchase as well. It's pretty awesome if you're going to buy a computer or make another major purchase. The problem with that is, when you're me & Bryan & you just want to buy a copy of Snow Leopard, you're left wandering around & looking for someone to help you. I saw at least 3 other people in the same predicament as me. We just wanted to buy the OS, but everyone was busy helping people to buy computers or iPhones or iPods.

Supper at Whole Foods Market, of course. We've been out of peanut butter for a few days, and with Ganon's peanut butter & jelly phase in full swing, that wouldn't do. Ganon must have heavy wheat bread (we use double fiber wheat by Nature Valley), Smucker's strawberry jam, and Whole Foods honey roasted PB. So we got some, and Bryan & I had awesome pizza for supper. Ganon was very silly, talking to everyone and refusing to eat...and then he ate ALL the bananas on the way home. *headdesk* Oh my boy. He did turn down a cookie & ask for a banana, so that made me happy.

Came home, and at that point the Tired caught up with me. I had worked a 12-hour shift, driven 2 hours, gotten to sleep a little past midnight and not slept well at all. Then I got up at 6, got ready & took an emotionally exhausting exam and had the above adventure. By the time I got home I was shattered. I collapsed in bed and slept HARD until this morning. In fact, I've had a 2 hour nap already today and I'm STILL exhausted. I feel like I'm never going to be rested again.

I cannot know my exam results until Monday at the earliest. Searching a name on the state registry requires a subscription ($10 a month for unlimited searches) or a one-time name search payment of $5.50. In either case, exam results are not available until at least 72 hours after the exam time, according to the site. Rather than paying $5.50 I will just have them look it up at the hospital, and then I'll know. I want to say I HAD to pass; there's no way I couldn't pass. I'm good at this. I'm new and I can only carry 3 patients (4 if they're very uncomplicated) at once, but they get good care from me. They feel like I'm paying attention to them, that I'll listen to them, and I have good basic nursing judgement about their needs. I love nursing. It's hard, it runs me ragged and leaves me worn out & used up at the end of the day, but I could not stop doing this job, pursuing this career, if you paid me to. I am a nurse at the bottom of my soul, where everything else is stripped away. I can't have failed that test.

Today I go to St. Bernard's for my physical, drug test, and pharmacology exam so that I can be an RN grad at their hospital until I take the boards. YAY FUN! I assume they will tell me that I am plump (only they will use the word "obese"), redheaded, and that I do not do drugs.

Oh, I just realized I'm wearing black nail polish. I hope they don't have to do capillary refill or get a pulse oximetry. Boooo. They've already offered me the job, so I'm assuming I won't lose it for being "goth" or something. *giggle*

Ganon isn't happy with the idea of me going to work. He's going to the mall to play with Julie, a friend of...well, okay, Julie & her husband Terry are MY family's Family 2.0--the friends they've adopted into a super-close relationship. So I grew up with them around, & they're more like an extra aunt & uncle to me. Anyway, I'm meeting her at the mall because I'm not comfortable with her driving with Ganon in the car (she has an extremely poor driving record and still drives despite a degenerative peripheral nerve disorder). They're going to play in the playground & at the train table, but Ganon wants me to stay.

Me: You're going to play with Julie while Mama goes to work.
Ganon: I go to Mama's work! *wailing*
Me: No, Mama's work has very sick people there, and Ganon could get sick.
Ganon: *sniff* Mama go play trains! *wailing*
Me: Mama has to go to work and help people!
Ganon: *scowl* I am NOT HAPPY!

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Of course I've already begun playing with the new layouts. I like them!

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Check out this awesome cupcake recipe: Arnold Palmer cupcakes. I actually had to look up what an Arnold Palmer was (other than a golfer, and I was pretty sure that this isn't what a golfer would taste like). Apparently it's a drink named for the golfer; half-iced tea, half-lemonade! I had no idea that had a name; I LOVE drinking that! So these cupcakes look pretty awesome to me.

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