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A versus B
Aug. 30th, 2013 10:26 amOf course, one of the first issues to come up when I'm in grad school: what grades do I want? Do I go with that urge to be a 4.0 student? Or do I need to chill out & settle for a B, and when I get an A every so often, I'll just call it bonus?
To hash this out with myself, I first determined why I want to make the highest scores. This has probably got several factors. When I was in elementary & high school, I made mostly A scores with very little effort. I was the slacker salutatorian. (I did have a lot of extra-curricular stuff, though, and that's when I first became aware that maybe grades weren't everything, but more on that in a minute.) I was told this was great, wonderful, this was why I was going to college. And it was true--my first scholarship, the one that allowed me to go to college in the first place, was because I scored very high on the ACT & because I had stellar grades. (And I could write a killer essay.) I have always been praised for my grades. So: historically, A's are my modus operandi, and because getting good grades allowed me to move up in education. And the last factor…self-image. I am an extremely intelligent person and I know that. I have always felt that I needed to PROVE my intelligence by getting the grades.
So in the last 3 weeks, I have set up those facts to determine if I think they are good enough reasons to try for A's in an extremely rigorous doctoral program. UTHSC is the first clinical nursing terminal degree program in the United States (ooooh, look at me giving a source). I am not in some half-baked degree factory. The professors teaching my classes are the giants in their field. With that in mind:
Get A's because I've always done it: Well, anyone who knows me is aware that tradition is like my LEAST favorite reason for doing something. In fact, I buck tradition quite often just on principle.
Good grades allow me to move up: This is the terminal degree. There is no scholarship for making amazing 4.0 grades. There is no further to go, unless I want to move laterally & get some hours for education (which is quite likely), or maybe later get a PhD (I don't think that's likely, but one never knows). However, simply HOLDING a DNP will be enough for those things. My GPA will not matter at all. In fact, my GPA was not a weighted factor in my selection for this program. I was accepted ahead of at least 2 people with GPAs far & away higher than mine.
Get the A because I am intelligent & need to prove it: Here it is, then. When I boiled it down, I realized this is a pressure I'm putting on MYSELF, and I'm not sure it's worth it. If you put any stock in the numbers of the IQ test, I am a genius (hello, absentminded professor type!). Who am I proving it to? My closest friends already know. My family has always known. The people I work with treat me as a walking encyclopedia of knowledge. Colleagues seek me out for collaboration. None of these people need me to get a 4.0 in graduate school to realize my brains are a useful tool. Besides--why exactly does that matter? Intelligence does not equal worth as a human being.
One of the things I learned in the transition from high school to college is that when someone is looking at you for a position or scholarship, a well-rounded candidate looks better than someone with perfect scores. Thinking of my nursing students from last year, I understand that. Someone who has found an equilibrium between their extra-curriculars & their grades is stable, capable, proficient, & aware. People who focus only on grades often miss the wider world, and in my profession, that's not acceptable. Do I want people to know I'm intelligent? Sure. Do I want that to be the only important facet of me? Absolutely not. The smartest nurse in the universe is worth less to some patients than the nurse who really, honestly cares about them as a human.
This program being what it is, a 4.0 (or even >3.5) is going to be a TOUGH row to hoe. I would probably have to give up my hobbies, my free time, possibly even working. I would have to ignore Ganon & Bryan. I would have to do nothing but school…and looking at those reasons for getting the A, I can't say I think it's worth that.
My recent epiphany: B stands for "balance". B's are what I get when I study all my stuff, I work all my problems, I skim all of my assignments & highlight the relevant portions. They are what I get when I do my best, but refuse to give myself stress related illnesses & pin all of my self-worth on achieving a score. At the end, I will still have a DNP and I will still pass the APN boards and I will still become an acute care nurse practitioner. In this program, they will not come easy, but they are achievable without me killing myself. I can maintain my equilibrium this way. B is for balance.
(And C is for cookies & coffee, which might also be critical to my success in this program!)
To hash this out with myself, I first determined why I want to make the highest scores. This has probably got several factors. When I was in elementary & high school, I made mostly A scores with very little effort. I was the slacker salutatorian. (I did have a lot of extra-curricular stuff, though, and that's when I first became aware that maybe grades weren't everything, but more on that in a minute.) I was told this was great, wonderful, this was why I was going to college. And it was true--my first scholarship, the one that allowed me to go to college in the first place, was because I scored very high on the ACT & because I had stellar grades. (And I could write a killer essay.) I have always been praised for my grades. So: historically, A's are my modus operandi, and because getting good grades allowed me to move up in education. And the last factor…self-image. I am an extremely intelligent person and I know that. I have always felt that I needed to PROVE my intelligence by getting the grades.
So in the last 3 weeks, I have set up those facts to determine if I think they are good enough reasons to try for A's in an extremely rigorous doctoral program. UTHSC is the first clinical nursing terminal degree program in the United States (ooooh, look at me giving a source). I am not in some half-baked degree factory. The professors teaching my classes are the giants in their field. With that in mind:
Get A's because I've always done it: Well, anyone who knows me is aware that tradition is like my LEAST favorite reason for doing something. In fact, I buck tradition quite often just on principle.
Good grades allow me to move up: This is the terminal degree. There is no scholarship for making amazing 4.0 grades. There is no further to go, unless I want to move laterally & get some hours for education (which is quite likely), or maybe later get a PhD (I don't think that's likely, but one never knows). However, simply HOLDING a DNP will be enough for those things. My GPA will not matter at all. In fact, my GPA was not a weighted factor in my selection for this program. I was accepted ahead of at least 2 people with GPAs far & away higher than mine.
Get the A because I am intelligent & need to prove it: Here it is, then. When I boiled it down, I realized this is a pressure I'm putting on MYSELF, and I'm not sure it's worth it. If you put any stock in the numbers of the IQ test, I am a genius (hello, absentminded professor type!). Who am I proving it to? My closest friends already know. My family has always known. The people I work with treat me as a walking encyclopedia of knowledge. Colleagues seek me out for collaboration. None of these people need me to get a 4.0 in graduate school to realize my brains are a useful tool. Besides--why exactly does that matter? Intelligence does not equal worth as a human being.
One of the things I learned in the transition from high school to college is that when someone is looking at you for a position or scholarship, a well-rounded candidate looks better than someone with perfect scores. Thinking of my nursing students from last year, I understand that. Someone who has found an equilibrium between their extra-curriculars & their grades is stable, capable, proficient, & aware. People who focus only on grades often miss the wider world, and in my profession, that's not acceptable. Do I want people to know I'm intelligent? Sure. Do I want that to be the only important facet of me? Absolutely not. The smartest nurse in the universe is worth less to some patients than the nurse who really, honestly cares about them as a human.
This program being what it is, a 4.0 (or even >3.5) is going to be a TOUGH row to hoe. I would probably have to give up my hobbies, my free time, possibly even working. I would have to ignore Ganon & Bryan. I would have to do nothing but school…and looking at those reasons for getting the A, I can't say I think it's worth that.
My recent epiphany: B stands for "balance". B's are what I get when I study all my stuff, I work all my problems, I skim all of my assignments & highlight the relevant portions. They are what I get when I do my best, but refuse to give myself stress related illnesses & pin all of my self-worth on achieving a score. At the end, I will still have a DNP and I will still pass the APN boards and I will still become an acute care nurse practitioner. In this program, they will not come easy, but they are achievable without me killing myself. I can maintain my equilibrium this way. B is for balance.
(And C is for cookies & coffee, which might also be critical to my success in this program!)
